The Funniest Things Overheard at Lockn’ Festival 2016

first_imgWith thousands of people descended upon the Oak Ridge Farm for the Lockn’ Festival in Arrington, Virginia over the weekend, hilarious comments were bound to be overheard. Though music by so many great live musicians took the spotlight at the festival, the crowd that formed over the weekend provided a true sense of community.As part of our ongoing “Overheard At” series, we present to you the funniest things uttered at this year’s Lockn’. What were some of your favorites? Be sure to let us know!“As I was dropping someone off at Will Call, a guy asked me if I knew where Will Call was.”“My feet aren’t really working but they’re working great.”“It may be a Phish but it’s not a Herring!”“I’m guessing a Zero encore, as in no encore” (Right before Phish encored with Character Zero)“A gal was fishing an IPA out of her shorts after passing security. Five guys watching. One comments, ‘Congratulations you just birthed an IPA.’”“You don’t realize how many people are behind us til you turn around and look.” After a Derek Trucks solo: “There should be a prescription required for that.”Overheard on the lot waiting to get in Thursday at 6 AM: “Lockn is just waiting and weirdness, my friends. Waiting and weirdness.”“Ice cold handjobs here! Get your ice cold handjobs here.”“That’s definitely the last time I boof altoids”“We can play spirit sticks with these glowsticks!” “What do you normally use?” “Regular sticks.”“Can somebody please tell me what I’m looking for?”“I have a wook timer. 10 minutes.”“Get your vegetarian hot dogs here! all beef!”“Extra Brown, those jam band hippies didn’t know what to do with the Poopship.”“I didn’t come here to be sober you mfers!”“If I want to park, do I have to buy a parking pass?”“If it says gates at noon, does that mean the gates OPEN at noon?”“I don’t know where my sweat ends and the world’s moisture begins.”“Are those wooks holding onto each other’s dreadlocks?”Guy says to his girl, “what the hell is a fried burrito any way?”  Some random guy walking by, in his best Cheech voice replies, “Das a chimichonga, man.”“Yo dude, where’s your pot? Not your weed, but your pot. I want to cook something.”“A dude passed out, man. … while Trey was shredding.”Me to my friend: “Remember last year when…” Random stranger interrupting: “No one remembers last year, man.”At Circles Around The Sun: “I think the theme of this set is ‘people who took acid for Phish need a place to go.’”Getting out of a car in the day lot, first day, and the very first thing heard from someone in a schoolgirl voice: “Have you thought about synthetic urine?”“Some of the portapotties have hand sanitizer and some don’t. You could say it’s a real crapshoot.”“How do you tell a wook to go home at the end of a festival if its home is the forest?”“Fuck yeah! This shit is great!” Someone asked if “things were kicking in.” Guy replied, “No this shower. IT’S FUCKING GREAT!”To the tune of a Hot Pockets commercial: “Hot Lockn.”“Someone pooped in my cooler.”“This rice ball is like a mozzarella stick and a pizza had a love child.”“I feel like I’ve spent the past three days in a hot yoga studio 24/7.”Three people at the water tank on Blue Ridge Lane: “Someone look up what potable means.”“You guys, listen. I just really need some AC and cocaine right now.”New vocabulary word: redneck loofah (wet wipe on a stick).“If music could take a dump, it would sound like Ween.”“After this whole day of amazing music, I have one song stuck in my head: ‘Freeze Frame.’ Damn you Peter Wolf!”“I hate when people make glowstick orbs with random colors. Pick a theme goddamnit!”“Is acid kosher? Because it’s Friday night and I’m about to eat a whole bunch of it.”Posted on a sign: “Official Lockn booby painting. Two thumbs up from Nelson County sheriffs”A girl walking past after My Morning Jacket on Saturday night stating she had taken not 1 not 2 not 3 but 4 SHOWERS!“We got a piñata full of drugs!”“I probably shouldn’t risk this at a music festival.”“Where’s my wallet?! I have a bunch of opium in it.”“We were selling stickers and a dude asks my 10 year old if he could get one for a dollar. She looked him square in the eye and informed him, ‘this isn’t the dollar tree.’”Overheard while waiting for JRAD on Friday night, after hearing the same Motown CD forever on loop when they started a half hour late: ” Where are these guys? I’ve had enough of Sweatin’ to the Oldies.”“A guy asked to trade shoes with me because his feet hurt.”“No ducks, no deal.”“Two stoners in the hammocks next to me ruminating on how they lacked the motivation to go get more weed.”“Whatever you do, take care of your shoes… That’s why I wear sandals, they take care of themselves.”“I don’t know about Krishna but these beads are fucking killin’ it.”“I’m carrying a fully cooked hot dog, in a bun, in my bag for when I get hungry.”“I’m about 75% sure there’s not acid on those gummy worms. I can’t remember.”“I’m good man. I’m still fucked up from last year.”last_img

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